Reflections by AquaLady

I went to see the movie, The Passion of Christ, this afternoon with an entire group of people from our church. I really don't know just yet what to say. I think it's one of those kind of experiences that you have to let settle in before you can really say anything. For some, its an outright emotional response but for others, it gets to you deep inside & you need your time & space to sort it out. I can say one thing about it, though. I know I will never look at the cross is quite the same way.

I'm usually not one to question things, but now I'm beginning to wonder about this book I'm re-reading, The Purpose Driven Life. I got so hyped up about it & figured that it would be the perfect answer to my quandry about the meaning of my life but I've been reading reviews of it lately & I have to admit that I, too, have some concerns.

Now, I'm not a theological scholar & in no way do I feel competent to challenge someone's writings especially when they bring Scirpture into the spotlight, but ya know, even when I reread Day #1, I looked up some of the scripture verses in the New American Bible & I, too, got a whole different meaning out of it.

So...here's my advice. Read with an OPEN mind. Question things if you feel the need or if you suspect something doesn't feel just right inside you. Do your homework. I believe we can still get something good out of Rick Warren's book but we may have to dig a little deeper inside ourselves.

Our cat, Muffin, arrived back home this morning after her surgery yesterday. We had her front claws removed since she's going to be an indoor cat. We also had her spayed, something we agreed to do when we adopted her from the SPCA.

Today she's just kinda 'out of it', you know, just laying around, napping, licking her paws & tummy & just not her ol' fun-loving self. I feel kinda sad for her, in a way... We have to take her back to the vets in a week to have the stitches removed & I"m already freaking out! It kinda reminds me of my last surgery. I don't know what it is about me but I dreaded getting the stitches out more than anything else. I was terrified...! and that's putting it mildly!!!

I'm sure Muffin doesn't have a clue what's next...& she probably isn't a bit worried. She has us, her family, to take care of her & I can tell that she really trusts us. You sure can learn alot about life from watching pets.

Day #1 - Everywhere you turn, it's me, me, me! We seem to be a society that focuses more on ourselves than anyone or anything else. But is that the way it was intended to be...? I mean, think about it.

I'm a Christian & I believe that God created me & died for me, but how exactly does that fit into my purpose for being here? I attended a Catholic parochial school as a child & I was taught by nuns who drilled it into us that God created us to know Him, to love Him & to serve Him in this world & the next. It all sounds so simple, but it isn't really... Well, anyway, not for me. I've also been told that to know God, I have to also know myself but then there's the part about denying one's very self so how can I know me & deny myself at the same time? That's what I mean about it all being so confusing.

So, here I am reflecting on day #1 of the Purpose Driven Life -- and I'm discovering that it's not at all about me... I'm told that it's not about my own personal fulfillment or peace of mind or happiness, or family, or career or or even my wildest dreams & ambitions. If I want to know why I'm here then I have to begin with God. "Everything got started in Him & get's it's purpose in Him."

Focusing on myself will never reveal my life's purpose. "It is ONLY in God that we discover our origin, our identity, our meaning, our purpose, our significance & our destiny." "I was made by God and for God...and until I understand that, life will never make any sense."

So, now, I have to reprogram my way of thinking & I believe that the best way for me to go about doing that is to hang out with friends who are seeking the same thing. The first time I read through this book I basically did it solo but this time I'm going to work on it with a friend. Maybe together we each find our purpose & support each other along the way.

What on earth am I here for anyway...? I've been asking myself this for a very long time now & lo & behold...guess what? A book just happened to show up on the market addressing this very question. Well, you know me...I just HAD to buy it! So, for 40 days, I religiously read each & every page with the hope of knowing, by day 40, the answer to my question.

Well, that didn't exactly happen. What I did discover, however, is that there's alot to me that I really didn't understand & it would take more than 40 days to figure things out.

So, here we are in the season of Lent & I decided to give it another go... I decided to read THE PURPOSE DRIVEN LIFE again, for another 40 days & see what I can re-discover about myself & why God made me.

Wow! My very first BLOG. Now I have my very own space for revealing my thoughts & feelings with family, friends...the world. This is totally awesome! My son once suggested that I write a book or something & share my wisdom with others.

Well, Matt, here goes...